Spring has sprung

What beautiful weather our lovely island is having right now! I'm pleased to report that I have taken full advantage of it and have been out walking in training for NYC.

Last Monday I did a little 5 mile route from my house, along the canal and back again. Then on Wednesday my mum and I completed 10.6 miles in 2 hours 59 minutes.

Saturday brought glorious weather and my sister joined us for a route that was supposed to be 8 miles, but ended up at 10.8.

I took some photos en route...

Daffodils

A new friend made

Funky Lamas

Nothing signals the arrival of spring better than Lambs in the fields

So a good time had by all on Saturday. 

Today I upped the mileage again and completed 13.8 miles. I'm very pleased as we've got until November to train for the event and it's the end of March and I'm already able to do over half way. Obviously this was with a cafe stop (mmm cake!) and some bench sitting and taking photos and enjoying my surroundings. The actual day will be much harder as it will be 26 miles straight off and continuous walking. 

Pics from today...

Mmmm cake

Another walk perhaps towards the end of the week, then it will just be weekend walks from the on as I start my new job on Monday!

Remember the terrible interview? Not so terrible after all apparently! Am extremely nervous about it but that's normal I'm led to believe. I just have to have some more faith in my ability and do my best. 

The Letting Agency finally have all they need from us reference wise in regards to our new abode, so now we're just waiting for a move in date, but we think we'll be moving in towards the end of April.

A big month ahead then! New job, new flat. 

We may be getting somewhere!

xxx

Confessions of a carb overload (warning, some TMI over share in this post)

Yesterday my parents went to London for the evening. I'd left the house in the morning around 9am to get the bus over to Cheltenham (the races are on at the moment therefore I didn't want to attempt driving and having to find somewhere to park) and didn't eat before I left.

When I eventually rolled into to Chelt about 2 hours later I had a medium Latte in M&S but again didn't eat as I was registering with a recruitment agency at 12 and have a weird thing about food being stuck in my teeth or bad breath etc (weird I know - why not look in a mirror???).

After the meeting I got the bus back to Gloucester and by this point I'm feeling a bit hungry. It's heading for 2pm so I get in my car and head to Sainsburys. When I get there, I don't get a basket and instead head for the bad section of the supermarket.

Shamefully here's what I bought:

2 x Sausage rolls
Packet of American style double choc chip cookies
Pepperoni Pizza
Garlic bread baguette
Mozzarella Cheese
Jar of green Pesto
1 large ciabatta style piece of bread

When I got home I took a phone call, did some washing and by this point it's getting on for 3pm and I'm ready to roll.

Firstly I eat the 2 sausage rolls whilst I'm cooking the ciabatta bread. I spread the pesto on the bread and sprinkle over the mozzarella and let it all cook.

I eventually sit down around 3:15pm, for my first 'meal' of the day and eat the entire pesto/mozzarella ciabatta bread. I then proceed with the cookies, of which I have 3 by the time the day is over.

Whilst I'm eating I'm getting REALLY FULL. But do I stop? No. I carry on as I'm enjoying the taste and there was no0one around to judge me, look on unfavourably and I figure I haven't eaten all day so it's ok. That's my logic.

Needless to say I felt bloated, full and disgusting the entire evening. Sam had football last night and when he got in around 10pm I cooked the pizza and garlic bread for him, of which I had about half of the garlic bread and a slice of the pizza. I was still full at this point, but it was there and I ate it.

Without going into too much detail here and over sharing, we had the place to ourselves last night, but as my stomach was out so far I could've been mistaken for being 9 months and I felt bloated and uncomfortable with garlic breath, I wasn't exactly feeling 'sexy'.

This morning I have woken up with a still bloated stomach, a lingering garlic taste in my mouth despite brushing my teeth twice already this morning and I feel a bit lethargic. I also weighed myself as I was intrigued and I'd put on 3lbs overnight. Now I'm aware that isn't permanent and it'll be down to all the carbs and salt but even so it's pretty disgusting.

I'm also (even more over share) unable to 'go' this morning.

So why am I telling you all this?

Because this isn't the first time I've had a binge of this kind. Unfortunately it probably won't be the last. But I've never written down my feelings (both physically and mentally) the day after before.

My relationship with food is destructive that's been obvious for a long time, and I'm not going to make an elaborate promise as God as my witness I will never overeat again. I've tried that before and it doesn't work. But I am accountable. There is no-one else to blame but myself.

And all I can do is promise myself that Ill continually try to do better.

xxx

This is hard

(That's what she said!!! Hehe, gotta love the American "Office")

To update:

I left my job on February 29th.
I'm down 8lbs in total.
I should be moving next month with the boy to a lovely flat in Cheltenham (freeeedom!!!!).
I'm still not out of my little 'down' period.

Taking the job in the first place was a mistake. I knew the salary was too low for what we need to live our life on, but in times like these I felt that any job was better than none, and figured it would be easy to find another job whilst at this one. I was wrong. It's not easy to speak to prospective employers in a half hour time slot between 12-12:30. They're never able to speak when you're back from work, and even if you do get to an interview stage, how do you get to the interview without your current employer smelling a rat? In the end I spoke to my lovely sister, giver of all amazing advice, who told me that she was behind me 100% and that there was much more I could be doing with my life.

Twelve days later and here I am. I've had two interviews and have two more lined up this week. I've had lots of positive feedback, lots of interest in my CV and feel I'm in a much better position to judge what's the best move for me. Sam is being hugely supportive (as always) and is quite insistent that I be happy with my job choice or else we'll only end up in the same position in another seven weeks! I realise how fortunate I am that I'm in a position where I can be 'picky' about what I take, and it's made me realise that perhaps the right decision was made in coming home from our travels sooner as we have some savings to fall back on at times like these.

As for my 'down' days, well today is one of them. It's a combination of feeling stifled still being at home with the parents (even though we're hopefully moving next month to a beautiful flat only a 5 minute walk away from my sister and the centre of Cheltenham and Pittville Park and the cinema and good shops etc - ooooh excitement!!!) and being a bit bored to be honest! I have a few appointments over the next 3 days though so the boredom should hopefully cease!

My weight loss is still slow. I want to be ok with that! My mum,sister and I are walking the NYC marathon in November for Breast Cancer and so I've been out on a few walks with my mum to begin my training for that. My pace is quite good, we did about 5 miles yesterday in an hour and a half. The previous Saturday we walked for 2 hours 20 and covered 8ish miles. I know that I'll be walking 26 miles and that I won't be able to keep that pace up for that long but a girls got to start somewhere!!!

Ideally I'd like to be a size 14 again. Before we go to New York would be awesome. Here's a pic of last time I went in 2006 where I was around a size 14 (and wanting to lose weight of course!)

Oh to be that size again! And to be happy about it! There's the difference. Reaching a size I'm happy with and maintaining it. Not being on a permanent cycle of needing to lose weight. I think I was in the 12 stone range here. I look happy here.

Was definitely happy here

Hehe. What a knob!

I don't think losing 3 stone by November is an unachievable target do you?

But first things first eh?

Permanent employment!

xxx