My mood at the moment is pretty, for want of a better word, 'dulled'. Wednesday evening and Thursday were awful, I had a complete breakdown and after an argument with another driver, completely broke down in a car park and cried those unstoppable, huge, sobbing tears that only come along once in a while.
I cried on and off all day and after a chat with my family I feel the better for it. I think I'd been trying to be so positive about the fact that we were back I'd been masking my emotions. Even though my head knows we were right to return, my heart still hasn't got the message, and is hankering for an ideal still of what should have been. Sometimes you need that good cry, but it means that now I'm feeling neither hugely positive or negative. I'm sort of indifferent. And I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not!
On the weight front, I've gained 2lbs this week. It's due to the fact that I've slowed down my rate of loss, as I've come in under calories everyday this week, have eaten on average around 1800kcals a day and I've exercised 4 times this week.
Monday night I went to Step Aerobics, Tuesday was Zumba, Wednesday was Body Combat and this morning I drove over to Cheltenham to do an outside Boot Camp class at Montpellier park with my sister. All good fun. I've definitely needed the exercise this week, God knows where I would have been emotionally without it!
So even though I've gained I'm ok with it. As the blog title says this is a journey. And it's going to be a long one! The weight didn't go on overnight so it won't come off overnight. There's going to be ups and downs to it. The fact is I'm eating less and exercising more, so eventually, it's going to happen!
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